Giving help to parents

BY ELYSE AMEND

elyse.amend@transcontinental.ca

Temper tantrums, sibling rivalry and the “terrible twos” are issues parents will most likely have to deal with at some point.

But according to child development and behaviour consultant Lesley-Anne Siegel, parenting doesn’t have to be such a daunting task.

“I look at parenting like a profession and also like an art,” said the Dollard des Ormeaux resident and mother of two. “With a company, you receive training for the job. But there’s no professional development or training for parents.”

This is the void she is looking to fill. Siegel started teaching in preschools and daycares about 20 years ago and completed hers masters degree in education from Concordia University in 1995. She then went on to teach Kindermusik classes, but stopped after becoming a mother. About three years ago, Siegel used her background and experiences with her four- and eight-year-old sons to develop her own child development program.

Now, Siegel runs her own business, helping parents demystify the challenges of parenting.

“My goal is to provide the parents with strategies, so they can do everything when I’m not there,” she said.

Anyone who is interested in the service can get in touch with Siegel and receive a free consultation. If the parents decide to hire her, Siegel will go to observe the child’s behaviour at home and then create a plan to improve the bahaviour issues that exist. It’s kind of like television’s ‘Supernanny’ Jo Frost – but with one major difference.

“People started telling me, oh, you’re like the Supernanny, and I would say, no, no. My process is similar to hers. But I’m not like her, because I never punish children,” Siegel said. “I teach parents strategies that are all positive and unique to their families.”

According to Siegel, even forms of punishments like ‘time-outs’ do not work: instead of teaching children the desirable behaviour, it makes the child briefly behave well out of fear of being punished.

“Even if you get the temporary results from a ‘time-out,’ you’re not getting the right behaviour for the right reasons,” she said, explaining there is a difference between punishing a child and teaching the child ‘consequences’ for their poor behaviour. “It’s not about children not doing things because they don’t want to get punished.”

Kirkland resident Diana Ravagli called Siegel after she had difficulties getting in touch with a child therapist she was referred to. Her energetic four-year-old son was having trouble at his preschool, because of his aggressive behaviour towards others.

“She was great. She has a great approach. She came to our home to observe him and then developed a program,” Ravagli said, adding Siegel has been working with her son at school and also provided her and her husband with tools to correct the behaviour at home. “In two weeks, we’ve seen a huge difference. Before, we were requested to keep him home longer, but now they see excellent behaviour.”

Ravagli believes Siegel’s programs are excellent tools for parents who may feel lost.

“You should always address it as soon as possible. But, it seems that we are ashamed of admitting there’s something wrong,” she said. “We need to learn that it’s okay to say, hey, I need help with this.”

While Siegel’s underlying method is to teach good behaviour without punishment, she said no two families or situations are the same.

“There’s no cookie cutter solution,” she said, adding, however, that the ‘no-punishment’ philosophy works. “The proof is in the pudding. I’ve never punished my children once. They’ve never had a time out, and they’re awesome.”

For more information on Lesley-Anne Siegel, visit www.childhood-matters.com. You can contact her by e-mail at lsiegel@videotron.ca or call her at 514-624-7557 or 514-232-7773.